Welcoming the new profession: Working Mother

Jakarta, 22 February 2011

Three months anniversary of being a working mother!!

Yeeesss!!! I did it… setelah sekian lama jadi full time mom and housewife, I’ve finally got my wish. Someone is actually having a ‘temporary confusion’ and decided to hire me. Hahahaha!!! Just kidding, Boss!! I am very grateful for this opportunity. Is it  stressful? yes a li’l bit… Is it tiresome? Like hell it is! But it is tons and tons very satisfying. Never been happier.

Setelah jalanin semuanya selama dua bulan, gue ngerasa udah ambil keputusan yang tepat untuk bekerja. Karena ternyata, gue ga bisa kalau cuma harus diem di rumah ngga ngapa-ngapain. Not creative enough to do some money-making business… not really good in socializing out side of school or work… Not busy enough to stay sane. Hehehe.

Wah tapi prosesnya panjang lho, dan butuh kesabaran dan sikap nothing-to-loose. Setelah beratus-ratus lamaran (lebay dikit, ah!) yang tak dijawab, akhirnya gue dipanggil interview… back on July or August. Berbulan-bulan ngga ada follow up, gue kira gue ga dapet kerjaan itu. But on a cheery thursday in November, I got a call to do the interview again (after months and months of MIA – missing in action). I got hired on the next day (Friday) and needed to show up for work on the next monday.

Whaaaaaaaa???!!!???

Walah, grabak-grubuk lah tuh gue yeeee. Mana kantornya jauh sangat geto dari rumah. Berangkatnya gimana?? Pulangnya gimana?? Naila gimana?? Even when the interview was still on going, I barely stayed focus. My mind was on and on making plans, pusing dah pokoknya.

Tapi alhamdulillah setelah nego sana sini… delay masuk kantor selama seminggu (hehehe, I was nervous for nothing, ternyata yeeee!!). Semua bisa diatur dan program working mother bisa segera di launch. hihihi apa sih?? Nanny for Naila? Dapet… pengaturan berangkat dan pulang kerja? Okay. Maka dilaksanakanlah OPERATION MOM AT WORK.

Hari pertama, (surprisingly) Naila kalem banget waktu gue tinggal, tapi gara-gara siangnya gue nelpon supir nyokap (for checking up) dan telponnya di kasih ke Naila… langsung rewel lah dia. Nyari gue kemana-mana, minta jemput dan sebagainya. Sejak itu dia jadi ngga mau ditinggal. For the next two weeks she threw tantrum every morning just when I am about to set off to work.

Sediiiiih banget awalnya, ngga tega banget ngeliat Nanayku kayak begitu. But I think in a way, it is also for her own good. Sampai kapan dia bakal nggelendot mamahnya terus? At some point she has to learn to accept other people as her soother. Nanny-nya di galakkin, I think she thought that her mother changed and left her every morning was because of the Nanny (and not the other way around). But in two weeks, everything got better… she understood and accepted the changes of condition. She could even wave good bye and blow a kiss now. What a smart little girl, right??

Mungkin banyak ya yang mikir, kok gue tega ninggalin anak gue untuk kerja. Hhhmmm… pertimbangan gue banyak sih, dan lebih karena gue sudah menggali kepribadian gue. Other than financial side, gue ngerasa butuh kerja untuk mengaktualisasikan diri gue, untuk mendorong kepercayaan diri gue, untuk membentuk kepribadian yang lebih mapan sebagai seorang wanita dewasa, untuk lebih menghargai diri gue dan untuk menyibukkan diri gue menghindarkan diri dari segala pikiran-pikiran ngga perlu akibat dari keadaan menganggur.

Gue bukan seseorang yang bisa: “Ting!!! Gue belajar ah!!” Gue selalu belajar saat sedang melakukan tugas-tugas tertentu. Yang berarti gue ga bakalan bisa belajar kalo keadaan gue monoton di rumah, mengurusi hal yang sama setiap hari. I need to learn something new without realizing that I am learning something. Gue ngga cukup termotivasi untuk bisnis dari rumah – janji mau bikinin blog untuk Tante ku aja, kelewatan melulu (payah!!). Maaf ya, Tante?!!. Dan gue ngga suka bersosialisasi yang mewajibkan gue untuk keluar dari rumah doing something that I don’t enjoy. Mending gue di rumah nonton Korea, deh!! Hehehe… So actualizing myself can only be done by working.

Dengan punya penghasilan sendiri, gue jadi merasa lebih percaya diri dan menghargai diri sendiri karena bisa punya kontribusi ke keluarga. Sebenernya sih ga harus begitu, ya… there is nothing wrong of being full time mom and proud of it. Full time mom is couple of times more tiring than working mom; its just that I don’t appreciate myself if I don’t contribute something. This is the inferiorruby talking. Pingin mempercantik dan merawat diri tapi lebih sering ngerasa salahnya… pingin beropini sesuatu yang ada hubungannya sama finansial jadi ngerasa ngga berhak. Its like losing my personality slowly. Another reason why I need to work.

And the last but not least… one of the main reason of why I needed to work is to minimize the chances of feeling sad and down because of being idle. Okaay, pekerjaan rumah memang banyak, but at some point we would be so skilled doing it… we would do it so fast that we are left with lots of spare time. Saat hal itu terjadi, gue (yang gak cukup kreatif untuk menyibukkan diri gue sendiri) akan punya banyak sekali saat menganggur. Sebulan dua bulan sih oke ya…. gue bisa nonton Korea sepuasnya. But after that??? Gue bosen nonton Korea, bosen nganggur dan mulai lah mikir aneh-aneh, sensitif, gampang tersinggung dan curigaan. Apalagi kalo hamung tiba-tiba suka pulang malem atau meeting keluar kota… I would have a lot of time to be suspicious. Wuaaah! Bahaya deh. That is the last thing I want.

Alhamdulillah sejauh ini semuanya lancar. Nanny-nya Naila did a good job… terbukti sekarang Naila jaauuuuhhhh lebih gemuk. Hehehe, dasar mamanya aja males nyuapin dulu (“soalnya kan mau latih Naila makan sendiriii!!!” Iyak iyak iyak… ngeles aja lo!). I had new great colleagues and friends. I could buy that cute li’l dress that I didn’t get to buy before and I’m feeling happy and complete.

I know a lot of people would disagree with my decision to have a job, but the truth is… I am just trying to live my dream and that is: to juggle two jobs at a time successfully!!

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3 Comments

  1. Good luck Rub…..
    baca tulisannya seger dan bikin semangat..huahaha
    mbayangin gua yg adrenalin tinggi dikerjar-2 target….

    Reply

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