Mülheim a.d. Ruhr, (originally wrote on) Oct 7th, 2009; 14:30
I know it’s kinda late, since my birthday was like a week ago, but there’s something going around in my mind since then that it would just be a shame not to let it out here (hehehe… kata sapa? Sok penting amat siy??).
A few days before my birthday, hamung was already went on and on about it. I know I should have felt flattered – because having him paying that much attention is not something I could get everyday (that’s what you get when you have a ‘cuek’ man as a husband…)- but the weird thing is, I dont’t feel a thing. There is no excitement towards birthdays like it was back on the early days, hmmm.. maybe as we grow old, birthdays is not so much of a big deal anymore.
I remember when I was little, I was already so worked up on the beginning of september. Waiting anxiously for the 25th to come, the day when my mom prepare something special as a birthday treat, my friends congratulate me the whole day, birthday gifts that were occasionally arrived, et cetera, etcetera. Birthdays felt so special back then…
Come to think of it, why do we have to congratulate someone for his or her birthday?? Is it really so special to be older??
When I was 13 or 14.. it was very special to be a year older. I don’t know about anybody else, but I could not wait to be an adult. I wanted so much to be 17. Little did I know, that being 17 is not something worth to be anxious about. In fact after turning 17, i feel like birthdays came so fast; maybe because I didn’t wait for them anymore.
Why did I so eager to be a 17 year old or older?? well maybe because I thought when we were an adult we could do anything we wanted, we could do anything by ourselves, and people appreciate us more. But by the time I reach 17 and the birthdays kept coming too fast, it became scarier and scarier to be an adult. Because as an adult there are pressure to achieve something and when we have not achieve a certain milestone at a certain age, birthdays and becoming older is the last thing I want.
Why is it that everything has to be measured by our age?? Getting married before 30, having a settled job before 28, graduate from college before 25, having a boyfriend before 16, and so on and so on… It is frustrating to have that kind of pressure while we could never stop the time. If I could someday break free from this kind of thinking, it would be a blessing.
Well let’s see what my life looks like today… at my 27th birthday, I am a married woman, a mother of an 18 month old daughter, I live in Germany still supported by my parents, I spent most of my time at home taking care of my daughter. As you may conclude, I do still have not reach a lot of milestone in my life and that sometimes that certain milestone – that I have not reached yet- also bugged me.
But you know what, I am not going to let those thing get me too far… I just like to think of it as a late start. People do sometime have a late star don’t they; and a late start does not always mean a bad start, right?? So for those who has the same concern as I do, don’t sweat it too much… after all, birthdays are overrated!!!
But then again, it is still nice to receive attention on your birthday. This year, a lot of people congratulate me… big part thanks to facebook, with my birthday stamped on hundreds of people’s reminder and the most convenient way to congratulate someone, it is no surprised that my wall is so full of congratulations.
At first I thought that congratulating someone – not just birthday – through a social network website is not the right thing to do. It just didn’t seem sincere. Something as ‘special’ as birthday or anniversary or a new baby born is something that needs special treatment, the effort of remembering those somethings, the effort to reach out the phone or meet someone who is celebrating something in person, the effort of looking the right gifts – even though the gifts are only chocolate bars or pencil… those little things with efforts give special meaning to the special occasions.
But this whole social networking site thing has just change the whole meaning of it. Well, I know that this is something to make your life easier… you don’t have to memorize everybody’s birthday, you don’t need to pay anything while putting a message for someone, and you can do it in a blick of an eye. Very very convenient…But which one do you think more special?? Greeting fromsome stranger that coincidentally look up your birthday and send a message?? Or some old friend that remember you birthday and text you or even call you out of the blue?? Which one do you think a real friend of a person??
Well.. that was just my thought though. That was also why I rarely congratulate someone if I don’t really know his or her birthday. And if I could, I would do the whole congratulations thing directly not on some strange website where thousands of people could see my message.
But got to admit though, it was very nice to receive a lot of messages… even from someone that I didn’t expect to drop one. I guess the thought and the good intentions of wishing someone is what really counts. The feeling of being wished for good luck and happiness, the feeling of being loved, the feeling of being considerated as someone… the admittance of your existence (phew, what a word!!) is why we have to congratulate someone on his or her birthday. I guess it is one example of act of random kindness.
That’s why I change my mind… Now I want to congratulate anyone on his or her special occasions, but I still going to treat it more special to the ones I love. Do I still think Birthday is overrated?? Uhhmmm, yeep!! But more because I am too old for birthdays. Hehehe…
Happy Birthday, Old Lady!!!